She saved my life:

[amelia]

not having your picture isn't an excuse on this one. I just have to say, I know I'm a mess and i just really hope you don't believe my words are lacking honesty. Well, where do we start.....i don't think i've told you yet, the whole week before i met you, i just sat in my closet about to kill myself. i just couldn't deal with anything anymore. I couldn't continue getting up every morning knowing i was getting nowhere. But then i thought to myself, "if there's really someone or something out there that'll save me i hope i find it soon."

That night, i spoke to you for the first time. What i didn't tell you was that just minutes before, I had spent my last fifteen bucks on some smokes and a couple of box cutters. That was gonna be it for me. I'm almost positive of that. I think that things happen for a reason. I think that i met you when i was supposed to. I don't really know why but i will forever owe you on that one. So whether you realize it or not, or whether this means a thing to you or not, you saved my life that day. you gave me a reason to live for. You made me smile for the first time that whole week. I hid behind those stupid vlogs and just kept lying to myself but you made me realize that there's so much more to life and you continue to do so.

so miss, whether this means all or nothing to you, i love you to death....

I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me, Such as living with the uncertainty That I'll never find the words to say which would completely explain just how I'm breaking down... I've become a simple souvenir of someone's kill And like the sea, I'm constantly changing from calm to ill Madness fills my heart and soul, as if the great divide could swallow me whole Oh, how I'm breaking down --Dallas Green [Sleeping Sickness]